Envy

I do not like myself when I feel envious.  I ask a lot of whys and the more whys I ask, the angrier I become.

"My parents deserve a good life too and I have been good.  Don't I deserve a better deal?"  Why this?  Why that?  I am over 50 and the climax of my life has certainly passed.  But here I am still wishing I could buy them a property where they can breath fresh air and grow a vegetable garden.  Every time I turn on the faucet and wash with warm water, I think of how my dad would have loved to experience having this convenience. 

I was driving this morning and was trying to arrange the doughnut box in the passenger seat.  I must have taken away my eyes too long from the road because my tires hit the center aisle so hard.  I was so shaken up - like hit by lightning!  It made me realize that someone is sending me a message.  "Knock it off!"  Dad and mom are healthier than most in their ages and THAT is a blessing!

I am not one to compare myself to others.  But when I think of how much my parents need me and how much I can only provide ...  "Envy" does not wait too long to rear its ugly head and I need to clip it clean. 

NOW someone give me a butcher's knife!!