My Heart is in a Puddle of Rich Melted Chocolate

Next Project

Now we have the house and children have all graduated from college ... my next project? A trip to the Philippines!

I push the idea back to the "attic" of my brain because I get frustrated thinking about it. How can I have enough - for me to go home and visit Mama and Papa? I need to work hard and hope we get the business going again.

It will be a huge thing for me - going back to the Philippines. It has been almost 9 years since I boarded the plane to the US. I need to make the trip. I HAVE to.

Moving

We are moving to our own house! We can get the keys to the house tomorrow. It will be our 6th move since the time we arrived in the US. From Bridgeport, to Mamaroneck (2 locations), to the apartment in MO, to the house in MO, to this apartment in CA and now, to OUR house.

This will be one item I can check off from my "prayer list". Yes, I have a prayer list. I remember it at times. Like now. I like it when I check off something. I pray for everyone and their uncles. I find it weird that I keep a list. I wonder if anyone else does this? I will write about it in another post. For now, I am stoked at finally getting the call from the builder :) Exciting times ahead!

I called Migo and told him that his birthday now has another meaning :) Wooohooo!

Childcare in the Age of Technology

I was recently introduced to viewing the cameras installed in Carl's daycare. Now I can view what he does during the day. Although the images are choppy, I have a sense of what is going on.

Viewing it makes me feel the angst of not being there to take care of him. There was one time when they put him on the high chair and he was there for almost 30 minutes. They did not give him anything to eat. He just sat there, looking at childcare attendants going past him. It certainly teaches the child patience - because he is not the only one attended to.

Life really is different in America. Children start to be "independent" and working to fit themselves in a group of people they do not know at a very tender age. In our country, we shelter them, surround them with things familiar.

I am not sure I like having this facility to view Carl in his daycare. It gives me a sense of obligation to see if he got his food in time, if he got his nap, if he is not crying. But if I see him needing attention, I can't do anything about it. Ahhh ... technology!!!

Making History

I wrote in my post dated April 2005 that Noy can easily win the "Genius of the Family" award. When he graduated last August 1, he proved me correct! He graduated Cum Laude, finishing a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics, minor in Computer Science.

When Roly heard about this, he said Noy made history. Noy is the first in our family to get an academic award. I often thought that Roly is THE Genius of the family. He really is. He could have gotten academic awards, had his youth been less troubled. Oh, I can imagine his pride knowing that his son (his namesake even!!) achieved what he could have gotten.

I reminisced how Noy told time up to the last minute. While we say 9:10, he would say 9:12. Even before he could talk straight, I was confident he can buy anything at the sarisari store and not be cheated on his change. I thought of how he could easily solve math problems like the solution was as easy as 1+1. I always complained that he used his study table the least during their grade school years. Little did I know that he studied the least because that was all he needed. I remember when his Grade 1 teacher assigned a very long poem for him to recite for their closing program and I was so piqued because we had to put in a lot of hours to memorize the piece. During the program, I was on the sidelines, ready to give him cue words in case he forgot some lines. He did not need me.

I am proud of the achievements of all my children. Each is a gift and no one outshines the other. Migo is the son I love the longest. I tear up thinking of his simple achievements. Nica is my soulmate. I know her, like her heart beats in mine. Noy is my baby. We are each other's biggest fan.

Frame Walk Through

We had a frame walk through today. Walls outside of the house were already done. Wires and tubes inside the house were still exposed. Purpose of the walk through was just to show us where the electric outlets, wires and tubes were and if they were where we specified them to be.

Next walk through is pre-carpet. By that time, everything is installed except the carpet. So excited! That would be by end of August.

Closing date will be mid - September. I pray this will be done without any hitch. With all that is happening right now, I need a miracle. A BIG miracle!

Mamma Mia!

I felt energy just typing the title to this post. I just came from watching the movie which stars Meryl Streep. Who does not love Meryl? In this movie, she is even more ADORABLE!!!! Especially when she sang "The Winner Takes It All". She went from confident, to vulnerable in one breath and she made it believable. Tears rolled down my face non-stop! Her rendition of the song was so heart wrenching, I was so moved by her performance. And for us who have been there ("and played by the rules"), I say AGAIN - the winner takes it all alright, but I am not doing bad now ... Thank you!

I already saw the Broadway show but the movie is totally different. The vocals at the movie version do not even come close to the Broadway show, but close-ups gave us more emotion, the costumes looked more colorful and the location ... where in the world is that mountain retreat that is just beside the beautiful beach??? It's so breathtaking! I will buy the DVD when it comes out. it is one of the movieds you would want to watch again. I hope it gets noticed by award bodies.

Checklist

He just turned one. When he first saw me, he recognized me like I just left yesterday :) Maybe it was the sound of my voice. Or maybe I just looked familiar. He immediately acted like he was going over his checklist. Walk, check. Fall flat on my butt, check. Smile, check. Point at Nemo, check. Say bye - bye, check. Show my teeth, check. Play peek-a-boo, check. Play the violin ... LOL!

I get crazy seeing how he observes and mimics our actions. Like sticking out his tongue, dancing, blowing kisses.

How we missed him when we left for home. We talked of no one else during our whole trip back. It had been 6 months since I last saw him and oh how he has grown! Soon I will not be able to keep up. I can't wait for him to talk and call me "Grandma!". We will go to Barnes and Noble and buy books, hang out and eat cheesecake. TRUE cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory! I hope I will still be around to introduce him to coffee .... Do Grandmothers do that? I wonder --

If I Were a Millionaire

I would buy a plot of land in the Philippines, near the beach. I will build 4 houses in that plot of land. Each house will have an extra bedroom for guests.

One house will be for Cynthia. A 3-bedroom house, where she and her daughter will live.

One for Ira. A 4-bedroom house, for his 2 children and wife.

One bungalow for Ma and Pa. A 2-bedroom house with a huge family room so they can entertain friends and relatives.

One for me. A 5-bedroom house. Each room will be huge and will have its own bathroom, like a suite, so it can accomodate my children's families when they come visit together. I will have a home theater that can seat at least 12, a big dining room, a big kitchen.

Beside my house, I will have a swimming pool and a pavilion to provide shade for the swimmers. I will buy a car and a van. I will hire a full time nurse and housekeepers for Ma and Pa. Gardeners to tend the surroundings.

The property will be gated and named Villa CarLyd for Carlos and Lydia, my Pa and Ma.

They said we should be careful what we wish for :) ... They might just come true! (Please?)

Thoughts About Vegetarianism

There is recent buzz on the rising popularity of vegetarianism. It made me pause to think. If this catches on real big, what will happen to all of the meat? Will there be a perpetual hunting season to control animal population? Ridiculous to even think this for pigs, cows and chicken. They cannot even run fast so it will not be fun to hunt. And when you put down a pig, you do not want to hang their heads in your den. Hahah!!!

What will happen to the processing plants? The people operating the companies in this industry?

At the other end of the spectrum, there will be more lands planted to vegetables and fruit. Do we even have enough land?

Hmmm ... I guess this will never happen. Just imaginig the smell of grilled pork chop makes me salivate!

Uncertainty

It is unnerving how uncertainty can trigger depression. I guess I am one of the few who do not believe in the word "depression" but I am now feeling out of sorts.

Wouldn't it be so nice to think that everything will go as you planned. NOT.

Motherhood

To be a mother - is an honor
To the most beautiful children - is a gift
My most precious accomplishment in life!

We found our house!!

Everything fell into place last May 1. We found our house!! It was such a feel-good day, I can hardly contain myself! With God's grace, we hope we get this without hitches.

House Hunting

You think you KNOW what you want until you SEE what you want and you are back to the drawing boards.

My wants were simple. At least 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, and an open floor plan. Then I saw hard wood floors, nice bathrooms, awesome kitchens, beautiful windows. My wants changed overnight. Sadly, budget will stay the same.

It is hard to compromise when you are looking at an investment this big. It makes you think of the cliché – you can’t have it all. But why can’t I?? Well if I have the money I can! Reality is – I don’t. Stinks!

March 28, 2008

This date will be remembered as THE day.

That day, I got the news that results from the procedure done on me a week ago is negative.

Also on that day, my GC application was approved.

I am celebrating GOD in all His glory! A L L E L U I A H!

Californayeeee

We are on our 6th month living in this state and aside from my regret that I cannot take care of my only grandchild who is in Missouri, I can say that we made the right decision to move.

I love California weather. Winter season still brings a lot of snow in the nearby mountains but not in Sacramento. It gets chilly but not so bad that I need to use heavy scarves and gloves. Now, we have yet to see how hot CA summers are but I can take a lot of heat - pun intended :).

Where else can I get lechon kawali cooked to perfection and I didn't cook them??? Hahaha! Pansit bihon, dinuguan and crispy pata. Is your mouth watering yet? And note that I do not get them from the traditional Goldilocks, Red Ribbon, or Max Restaurant, which are all over Sacramento. I just get them from a small Filipino - Chinese restaurant near our apartment that can whip up a yummy feast!

Do not get me started on writing about the malls here. In MO, we only had one and only one mall. CA is a window shopper's paradise. I miss shopping for the house, though. Now, when I go shopping, I pick up things to try on and I always end up empty handed. It is not a good time to buy something to wear. I am $#@! pounds overweight and they are all around my middle.

What do I miss in MO? I miss my friends. Watching movies with Gingin. The gatherings at the house. I look at my serving plates and utensils and think it will be a long while before I will get to use them again. I do not have the energy to build new relationships here. I am too involved with my family and my work. And I am old. And I am fat. I do not think anyone will be interested to be friends with me. All I do is work and cook. Oh, and I also watch TV. And eat. A lot.

But I am content. Happy. Just fat. And old. LOL!

Blogger and Filipino - in one sentence!

I got the comic above from blogcomics.net. And this must have come about because of this other news I read -"Blogger is now in Filipino" Yess! But now what does THAT mean?? I understood it when they had Blogger in some other language that uses a different character set other than the English alphabet. And I am not really sure if Filipino bloggers will shift to a Tagalog theme. Just the same, I am THRILLED to be recognized as one of the largest communities in the blogosphere!

Mother's Pain

What do you do when you witness your child's pain? My heart hurt as I silently cried while praying that the hurting stops. Life isn't fair, is it? I know that now. And the path that I took to learn that was not easy too. I wish there was some shortcut to the learning part, especially for our children. But then again, sweet is sweeter when you have tasted bitter. Maybe bitter can be less bitter?

Someone is just being REAL!

I am pasting here 2 of the funniest "prayers" I saw online -

"God, if you cannot make me thin,
please make my friends fat."

"God, grant me the senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune
to run into the ones I do ...
and the eyesight to know the difference."

Patience

When you pray for patience, does God "give" you patience? Or does He give you opportunities to practice patience so you can "stretch" your "patience muscles"?

I am NOT praying for patience anymore :)