Barstow California

I just got back from a 5 - day trip to Barstow in California where I met the 4 teachers hired by the Barstow Unified School District: Peter Esperanza, Carla Lopez, Tey Manalang and Reynante Ramos. All came from the Philippines through Taipei. I was lucky to have Dioko drive us from LAX. I wouldn't have survived the highways of Los Angeles!

We stopped by the Malan's on our way to our hotel from the airport. Husband and wife were soooo gracious! Lalaine is still very much Filipino even though she grew up in America. She told the group about furniture that they could loan and arranged for us to meet them the next day - a Sunday - so they can drive us around town. We went to the teacher's schools and they showed us some houses.

I rented a car from Avis so we can go around. The car they gave was BIG! An Impala. I felt like Granny Goose driving. I was so proud of myself though! I drove them to the SS building, the DMV, to the district office, to their schools, to Walmart, to restaurants, looked for houses and apartments for rent.

Barstow is bare. Brown. It is almost like a desert. In the morning it is searing hot. In the late afternoon, it starts getting cold. The landscape is better appreciated as the sun sets and the mountains absorb the orangy tinge of the sun. Breathtaking! With the quietness of the city, gazing at the mountains, you can almost hear the sun slowly meeting the horizon.

As I expected, there were no oriental stores in Bastow that the whole California is famous for. I told the teachers that they will start the Filipino community there and watch it grow.

I wish I could place more teachers in California. On our way to my hotel (LAX Plaza Hotel) the day before I left for Springfield, Dioko brought me to a mall where they have a Goldilocks. What a surprise that I found a Jollibee there too! I told Migo about this and he said ... If we have those here, there will be less incentive to go back to the Philippines. Hmmmm...

Next stop - New York City!!

Friday Nights and Weekends

Sounds like a promo for cell phone service. It is actually my "Me" time. Children are grown and each has his/her own world of friends. And this is the time they soak up on the companionship, the camaraderie they missed during the weekdays. It's not that they do not go out with their friends during weekdays. But that is another story. Ahhh .. to be young and be a social whore!!

Almost always, I end up being alone Friday and Saturday nights. Nica worries about me being alone. And that is nice to hear. But I actually enjoy it. Really! I buy a new DVD, or just watch my DVDs again. I eat comfort food like chips and soda (for others, these are discomfort food:). When not watching, I surf the internet for interesting blogs. Fun fun fun. How the definition of that word changes depending on where you are in your life!

Ages ago, fun used to be:

1. Going out with officemates to the Malate bars, listening to the group Asin and Freddie Aguilar when they were just starting (ok so I'm ancient), while pretending to like gin tonic.

2. Clubbing with my cousins, Cecille and Baby, at the Where Else, I forgot that other disco place at the Greenbelt, and that other club at the hotel near the Manila International Airport (I can't even remember the names! I'm losing it ... yes, thank you!!) And this we do EVERY Saturday. We meet up with some of Cecille's friends (yes, only she has male friends) or we go stag and bump and grind with the masses.

3. And of course, going out with my then boyfriend (now my husband) to bars like International Pub at Kamuning, Bodega at Quezon Avenue, at Greenbelt, and some others (who pays attention to where you go with your boyfriend???? :))

That list made me look like I am such a "wild child". I have a tame side too. The tame me cuddled up with a Mills and Boon, a Barbra Cartland and best sellers from Ayn Rand (o malalim din di ba?).

Now, I am into movies, DVDs, the internet. It now takes a lot of effort to read books. I mean the really good ones. I like reading chick lit and I can finish reading it in a flash. But if you give me an interesting and "intellectual" book like The Da Vinci Code I will just look like reading it, absorb some facts, lose interest and put it down. FOR MONTHS. Then when I go back to it, I have to re-read because I already forgot what it was about. Sigh!! This is the reason why they made audio books, I tell you. Well, maybe, time will come when I will actually buy audio books. Then maybe it will warm up my Friday nights and change my meaning of FUN again.

Your Cross, My Cross

I used to write for TV back home. Aside from the additional income I get from it, I love the continuous adrenaline rush that I get from the moment my storyline is picked, to watching it being aired on TV, and seeing my name on the show's credits. I remember writing dialogues and crying as I put my heart in the scene. The "kilig" when writing a mushy romantic line or action. The pasted smile when I write something funny (Well, I tried!).

One of the scripts I wrote was about a high school reunion. Five very close girl friends met again, talked, giggled, hugged, teased each other and noted that nothing really changed, except for their bodies and lines on their faces. When night fell, and each one was tired of "acting", masks were slowly taken off. Each with a different story to tell.

Going back home after the reunion, they all find out how warmly they embraced their own lives after hearing the life stories of their girlfriends. It becomes a major realization that seeing the crosses that your other friends carry, you end up picking your own. The cross that you carried had actually formed to take the curve of your shoulder. There is comfort in familiarity.

Writing stories give me a different kind of fulfillment. I get to decide how the story ends. In real life, you actually could .... to some extent. But first, just as in writing scripts, you "decide" on your storyline. You know how it should end. Then you create opportunities to make it happen. But life is funny. It does not always give you what you want ... What if it does? Do you see how scary that will be?

Aging

I received text from a cousin whom I have not heard from for so long. She is going home to the Philippines because Tia Purita is in critical condition. One of Mama's sister-barkada. We lost her long before, about 8 - 10 years ago. She seemed to live in her own world. Not mindful of her surroundings. She looks at you but you do not see a spark of recognition. The intensity of her stares made me afraid to even talk to her. I wanted to ask what was in her mind. How can you create a lot of memories and not go back to them? So this is how it goes? You are taught to live life to the fullest, make everyday as if it were your last. Then forget?

This is the price you pay for accumulating years in this world.

Character

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

by Frank Outlaw

A Very Good Day

Today was a very good day. It's the first day that I worked with all things in my room in their right places. I love how my room makes me feel :) Can't wait to decorate it. It cracks me up thinking about a remark I made to Jombit and Bing when they were at my door, looking at me - "Do you have an appointment to look at me?"

We got mass approval for our teachers for the NYCPS!! I can't believe it at first but consider this ... 73 approvals all dated September 1 and 2!! The power of politics! I thought that made my day. But no, we had a Friday thing going today and for the first time, it was held at our house!! I was so frustrated that the mower failed us again. Grrrrr .... Anyway, I cooked pata and it was perfect. Susan brought pansit, Bing brought fish and tahong na may sabaw, and Gin brought our dessert, black forest cake. Aside from the complementing food, it was such a nice get together. No odd man out. Walang kontrabida. Louie and Bing are a revelation to me. This was the first time that I really got to talk to them. I felt their sincerity and I so liked how Bing reacted to the changes that I made to their former house. But I know I neglected the lawn and backyard and I am beyond embarassed ** sigh** :(

Everybody enjoyed everybody's anecdote. We did a lot of "discussion". And we promised to do a chapter 2 next week!

Yes, today was a good day. A very good one! But it does not take away the guilt I feel seeing how the victims of Katrina are trying to cope. The magnitude of the damage unfolding on television increases by the day. Makes me think - "Is this America?"