Gift Giving

I take pride in the gifts I give. For me, it is an opportunity to let someone know that he or she is special. I pick my gifts with that specific person in mind. I love the tireless hunt for the right gift and the exhiliration of looking at it before I wrap it. Oh, I get the most attractive wrappers and wrap all gifts with careful precision. I guess I got this from Mama.

This morning, I gave out my gifts to my officemates and their children. As I gave them their gifts, I am tickled to imagine their reaction when they open it. I am blessed to be in a position where I receive "Thank you" for something I have done or something I have given. I rate my day according to the number of "Thank you" I receive. I do not need to hear it said. I just see the look of a person whose life I touched and feel it. It is such a humbling experience.

Sweet November

It has been soooo long since I wrote my last blog. I thought I will never have the energy to write again after that gruelling schedule.

I was in NY from November 12 to 16. I met only 26 teachers but they were housed in 2 different locations. The YMCA in Manhattan and Pan American Hotel in Queens. And if that was not enough, their orientation sessions were held at the Board of Ed's office in Brooklyn! My feet were not happy.

The highlight of this trip is my meeting Zia. She is one of the first teachers I placed. We had a lot phone calls between us when she was still teaching in New Mexico. We developed a special bond and it was a dream come true for both of us for her to be given a chance to return to the US again. In my 4 nights at my hotel, she slept in for 3 nights. I brought her around Times Square, St Patrick's Cathedral, and Rockefeller Center and took pictures, treated her for dinner. Picture below is Zia at the St. Patrick's Cathedral.

Another highlight of this trip is meeting Emma. I had to meet her. Just so I could tell Nanna that I met her friend. It is a comfort hearing once again how our company helped someone fulfill her dreams.

November 20 to 25, I was in Vacaville. The whole trip was a breeze. I rented a car for us to get around Vacaville. I found a room for Elvira. I met Ron of Vacaville USD and was amazed at his warmth.

Roly picked me up at the airport. He doted on me, would you believe? He bought a portable heater and always asked me if I was warm enough. He remarked that it was nice for him to work for me because I can afford to buy him Starbucks coffee :) My time with him made me see how we will be when all our children are living away from home and I liked what I saw.

Manang Ko Nanna

We have never met. Never even talked on the phone. We just swap emails and text messages. But our relationship can rival most friendships.

I gush over her wit and humor. I talk about her and her anecdotes. She writes flawlessly you will be embarassed if you sent her an email that you forgot to spell check and grammar check (?) :)

I love the girl so much. We swap stories to remind each other why we love our job. Amazing to discover that we have the same "brand" of humor!!! We sense when the other is having a bad day. I hope to meet her someday. I do not run into treasures like this often in this lifetime. Yes, she is a treasure, my Nannang.

New York Bound Again

I am excited to go to New York again because I will be meeting a friend. Zia is arriving on November 12. I am expecting to do a lot more walking than my previous visits to NY City. The teachers will be housed in 2 places! I feel tired already just writing that.

This time, I will take pictures. The better to spruce up this blog a bit :)

When I was 22

It is Monica's 22nd birthday today. As I look at her, so beautiful and so confident about what she wants in life, I pray that she does not stop trying when she does not see her dreams happening. That she still holds life delicately when all she sees is greed, hunger and disappointment. That she never lets go the belief that all she can rely on is her conscience when important decisions have to be made.

She is 22. What was I when I was 22?

At 22, I already had a major heartbreak ... or so I thought. So BIG that I thought I would never love like that again. My hobby back then was to write "DOOM" as my ambition. Oh how youth magnifies issues big time! My Monica has yet to feel heartbreak. I know so because she invented the anti-falling-in-love pill. Sometimes, I am so afraid that she is passing up chances of feeling being loved. But I guess she knows better.

At 22, I was clueless on what I want in life. I had a comfortable life. I did not have to think of what I want. Things just happened. Right before graduation in college, I was instructed by our school guidance counselor to go to the National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA) at Padre Faura (just a block from St. Paul College) for a job interview. I went there, got interviewed by very young managers (one from La Salle and one from Ateneo!), and was told to report at the earliest date after my graduation! Later on, I found out that Tolitz, our Project Manager (Don't ask me why nicknames back then were said in reverse and spelled with a z or an h!), selected me to be interviewed among those submitted by my school because he liked the sound of my name. And he selected me to get the job because I closely resembled his ex-girfriend! Talk about stars aligning to give me this very good opportunity!!

My first job was with a small start-up project called TRA POLI, Transposrt Policies Formulation Study. It involved interviewing major transport companies all over the Philippines. PAL, PNR, Aboitiz, bus companies, freight companies. It also involved travel! And travel meant beaches galore!!! I travelled from Aparri to Jolo. From the damp, humid and bare Tuguegarao to the windy, colorful, dangerous Zamboanga. I wish digital cameras existed those days. 

I was 22 then. Young, impressionable, clueless. And weren't we all that way ...

My Home, My Reality ....

I drive up the driveway and lug all the grocery bags I can carry. I put down the bags on the kitchen floor, walk to my room as I make a mental note of who among my children are home. Coming out of my room, now dressed in my "housework clothes" - the piece of clothing I wear for just 2-3 hours and send to the hamper after it absorbs the smell of food I cook, I ask where the missing one is. I cook. While cooking, one or all of them take turns in asking what's cooking. I announce "Dinner is ready!" and when all of them are gathered at the kitchen counter or the dining table, we start sharing the highlights of our day.

While they relate their stories with names that are vaguely familiar, I start to attach "incidents" to the names. I confirm them by asking. "Alli is the Filipino Japanese girl who play tennis with Noy?" or "Kevin is the AAPIO friend of Fahad?" or "Chris is the friend of Bea?" This is how I keep up with what is going on in their lives. And even if they tell me that I have asked the same question more than twice before, they willingly answered me. An indication that they "tolerate" my presence in their lives :) For some, this may mean so trivial, but this means so much to me.

Smell of home-cooked dinner, loud banter about my memory lapses, opinions on subjects that just float, thoughts of what the future will look like. My home, my reality, my paradise.

My Love

Me: Hi!
Not me: Why did you call?
M: Just want to check how you are doing?
N: So you are not busy? You have nothing to do so you remembered calling?
M: Actually I am watching TV now.
N: So go ahead and watch TV.
(Pause)
M: (as if I didn't hear that) I want to make plans for the season. Are we going there or are you coming here?
N: I can't go there. I can't afford it.
M: Let me know what dates you will be able to take a leave and I will book the plane ticket.
N: Wow! Rich huh?
(Pause)
M: (again, as if I didn't hear that) You may want to come for Christmas and attend our office Christmas party.
N: When is that?
M: It is December 17 or 19. I will have to check.
N: You are unsure about the date? Sounds like you don't want me to attend.

This is a typical conversation between me and my love. Funny how we get to a point in our relationship when you know you love a person so much and nothing else matters. I believe he loves me too. Guess I love him enough to figure that out. It may be hard to see that in our usual conversation, but I'm an expert in reading between the lines. Between, over, under, front and back :)

Desert Dispatch - Barstow Local Newspaper

Lalaine, Rey and Carla sent me this link to the Barstow Local Newpaper, Desert Dispatch. The Filipino teachers were featured last October 17! Click here to read the article.

Lalaine wrote that after the article came out, local Filipinos were calling Barstow Jr. High asking how to get in touch with them and the teachers. A Filipino couple actually went to the school to meet the teachers and a local doctor called to invite them over to her house for dinner. Filipinos starting to be seen. Nice start! It seems the teachers found a home in Barstow.

New York, New York!!

Of all times, I feel the burst of energy to write about my recent New York experience at this time. Now that I am on panic gear because teacher interviews are coming up and I know I lack teachers to present. Now that our mail server and my internet connection at home are acting up and do not know if the emails I sent were really sent. And if they have been sent, did the teachers read it yet? The schedule? The change of venue? The list of requirements? Can anyone hear meeeee!!!

Anyway, New York.

My feet do not like New York. No shoes, sandals or slippers are comfortable enough. The teachers stayed at The New Yorker Hotel, corner 8th Avenue and 34th Street. My hotel is also at the 8th Avenue but 11 blocks up! I appease my complaining feet by clouding my head with coffee from Starbucks. It costs more than $3 but I close my eyes, take a deep breath and reach into my pocketbook! I think about how $3 converted to pesos is more than P150 and what that can buy: a Jollibee or a Max's Fried Chicken meal? Before I know it, I am already entering the doors of the hotel.

I heard a lot of "thank you"s and got a lot of hugs and dried mangoes. The most memorable "thank you" was Jun Buensuceso's. I felt his was the most heartfelt. I brought some teachers to St. Patrick's Cathedral. I taught them how to use the subway. Showed them how to get to the International Lighthouse where their orientation sessions are to be conducted. I helped some teachers look for houses and apartments but most did not need help at all.

Flor Sol Cruz and Joel Comendador invited me to have dinner at a Filipino restaurant and I willingly obliged. Flor brought her US-born daughter with her and she was soooo adorable!! I know so many other teachers wanted to treat me out and I wish I had more time to be with them. They just so wanted to make me feel that they have not forgotten. There are a few who still maintain contact and these teachers will never know how their gestures are appreciated. It feels good to still be remembered when their dreams are already fulfilled. Touching base with them makes me remember why I love my job. Because I tend to forget sometimes.

I also met with Leah and Tess. I have a lot of history with these two women. Back when we were still "languishing" in the Philippines :) And even if we seldom get together, I always feel our unique bond still going strong. I spent a night at Leah's condo and had dinner at Tess' new house. Wow! It was a true country home, located at the suburbs of New York. So proud of Tess. I know that their success as a family had a lot to do with her dreams and making them come true.

I did not get to meet Sam of the Board of Ed, who calls me Mrs. Balut. Before coming to New York, we set up a date ... dinner at Chinatown. Maybe next time :)

After a trip to New York, I always feel regret for not enjoying New York life as it is written about. But this time, the "regret feeling" was shortlived. I went home and found out that Noy and Nica have been sick for days. I am Mommy again. And my feet are deliriously happy.

Barstow California

I just got back from a 5 - day trip to Barstow in California where I met the 4 teachers hired by the Barstow Unified School District: Peter Esperanza, Carla Lopez, Tey Manalang and Reynante Ramos. All came from the Philippines through Taipei. I was lucky to have Dioko drive us from LAX. I wouldn't have survived the highways of Los Angeles!

We stopped by the Malan's on our way to our hotel from the airport. Husband and wife were soooo gracious! Lalaine is still very much Filipino even though she grew up in America. She told the group about furniture that they could loan and arranged for us to meet them the next day - a Sunday - so they can drive us around town. We went to the teacher's schools and they showed us some houses.

I rented a car from Avis so we can go around. The car they gave was BIG! An Impala. I felt like Granny Goose driving. I was so proud of myself though! I drove them to the SS building, the DMV, to the district office, to their schools, to Walmart, to restaurants, looked for houses and apartments for rent.

Barstow is bare. Brown. It is almost like a desert. In the morning it is searing hot. In the late afternoon, it starts getting cold. The landscape is better appreciated as the sun sets and the mountains absorb the orangy tinge of the sun. Breathtaking! With the quietness of the city, gazing at the mountains, you can almost hear the sun slowly meeting the horizon.

As I expected, there were no oriental stores in Bastow that the whole California is famous for. I told the teachers that they will start the Filipino community there and watch it grow.

I wish I could place more teachers in California. On our way to my hotel (LAX Plaza Hotel) the day before I left for Springfield, Dioko brought me to a mall where they have a Goldilocks. What a surprise that I found a Jollibee there too! I told Migo about this and he said ... If we have those here, there will be less incentive to go back to the Philippines. Hmmmm...

Next stop - New York City!!

Friday Nights and Weekends

Sounds like a promo for cell phone service. It is actually my "Me" time. Children are grown and each has his/her own world of friends. And this is the time they soak up on the companionship, the camaraderie they missed during the weekdays. It's not that they do not go out with their friends during weekdays. But that is another story. Ahhh .. to be young and be a social whore!!

Almost always, I end up being alone Friday and Saturday nights. Nica worries about me being alone. And that is nice to hear. But I actually enjoy it. Really! I buy a new DVD, or just watch my DVDs again. I eat comfort food like chips and soda (for others, these are discomfort food:). When not watching, I surf the internet for interesting blogs. Fun fun fun. How the definition of that word changes depending on where you are in your life!

Ages ago, fun used to be:

1. Going out with officemates to the Malate bars, listening to the group Asin and Freddie Aguilar when they were just starting (ok so I'm ancient), while pretending to like gin tonic.

2. Clubbing with my cousins, Cecille and Baby, at the Where Else, I forgot that other disco place at the Greenbelt, and that other club at the hotel near the Manila International Airport (I can't even remember the names! I'm losing it ... yes, thank you!!) And this we do EVERY Saturday. We meet up with some of Cecille's friends (yes, only she has male friends) or we go stag and bump and grind with the masses.

3. And of course, going out with my then boyfriend (now my husband) to bars like International Pub at Kamuning, Bodega at Quezon Avenue, at Greenbelt, and some others (who pays attention to where you go with your boyfriend???? :))

That list made me look like I am such a "wild child". I have a tame side too. The tame me cuddled up with a Mills and Boon, a Barbra Cartland and best sellers from Ayn Rand (o malalim din di ba?).

Now, I am into movies, DVDs, the internet. It now takes a lot of effort to read books. I mean the really good ones. I like reading chick lit and I can finish reading it in a flash. But if you give me an interesting and "intellectual" book like The Da Vinci Code I will just look like reading it, absorb some facts, lose interest and put it down. FOR MONTHS. Then when I go back to it, I have to re-read because I already forgot what it was about. Sigh!! This is the reason why they made audio books, I tell you. Well, maybe, time will come when I will actually buy audio books. Then maybe it will warm up my Friday nights and change my meaning of FUN again.

Your Cross, My Cross

I used to write for TV back home. Aside from the additional income I get from it, I love the continuous adrenaline rush that I get from the moment my storyline is picked, to watching it being aired on TV, and seeing my name on the show's credits. I remember writing dialogues and crying as I put my heart in the scene. The "kilig" when writing a mushy romantic line or action. The pasted smile when I write something funny (Well, I tried!).

One of the scripts I wrote was about a high school reunion. Five very close girl friends met again, talked, giggled, hugged, teased each other and noted that nothing really changed, except for their bodies and lines on their faces. When night fell, and each one was tired of "acting", masks were slowly taken off. Each with a different story to tell.

Going back home after the reunion, they all find out how warmly they embraced their own lives after hearing the life stories of their girlfriends. It becomes a major realization that seeing the crosses that your other friends carry, you end up picking your own. The cross that you carried had actually formed to take the curve of your shoulder. There is comfort in familiarity.

Writing stories give me a different kind of fulfillment. I get to decide how the story ends. In real life, you actually could .... to some extent. But first, just as in writing scripts, you "decide" on your storyline. You know how it should end. Then you create opportunities to make it happen. But life is funny. It does not always give you what you want ... What if it does? Do you see how scary that will be?

Aging

I received text from a cousin whom I have not heard from for so long. She is going home to the Philippines because Tia Purita is in critical condition. One of Mama's sister-barkada. We lost her long before, about 8 - 10 years ago. She seemed to live in her own world. Not mindful of her surroundings. She looks at you but you do not see a spark of recognition. The intensity of her stares made me afraid to even talk to her. I wanted to ask what was in her mind. How can you create a lot of memories and not go back to them? So this is how it goes? You are taught to live life to the fullest, make everyday as if it were your last. Then forget?

This is the price you pay for accumulating years in this world.

Character

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

by Frank Outlaw

A Very Good Day

Today was a very good day. It's the first day that I worked with all things in my room in their right places. I love how my room makes me feel :) Can't wait to decorate it. It cracks me up thinking about a remark I made to Jombit and Bing when they were at my door, looking at me - "Do you have an appointment to look at me?"

We got mass approval for our teachers for the NYCPS!! I can't believe it at first but consider this ... 73 approvals all dated September 1 and 2!! The power of politics! I thought that made my day. But no, we had a Friday thing going today and for the first time, it was held at our house!! I was so frustrated that the mower failed us again. Grrrrr .... Anyway, I cooked pata and it was perfect. Susan brought pansit, Bing brought fish and tahong na may sabaw, and Gin brought our dessert, black forest cake. Aside from the complementing food, it was such a nice get together. No odd man out. Walang kontrabida. Louie and Bing are a revelation to me. This was the first time that I really got to talk to them. I felt their sincerity and I so liked how Bing reacted to the changes that I made to their former house. But I know I neglected the lawn and backyard and I am beyond embarassed ** sigh** :(

Everybody enjoyed everybody's anecdote. We did a lot of "discussion". And we promised to do a chapter 2 next week!

Yes, today was a good day. A very good one! But it does not take away the guilt I feel seeing how the victims of Katrina are trying to cope. The magnitude of the damage unfolding on television increases by the day. Makes me think - "Is this America?"

Mi Cuarto

I started cleaning up THE room. There is something exciting in getting your own room. Your own space. It became more exciting when Jombit floated the idea of repainting it. I selected "Simply Peach"!! It is not yet done as Jombit will apply two coatings. But after the first coating, it looked darker than what I thought it would be.

I will miss the minute by minute update on what is going on - after all, I am currently seated at the "heart" of the office. Where I see and hear all the action :) North and South, East and West!! Oh, the lengths I go to in order to maintain focus! Having my own room means I will get more work done because I will have less distraction. And I want that. Teacher concerns are multiplying by the second and in less than 2 months, the interview season begins again!!

Babysitting "The One"

It was a surprisingly good experience to babysit Keanu. He was trying his best to be funny! He really was! He laughs a throaty kind of laugh to elicit laughter from us. All took turns to look after him and I didn't have to ask. He just walked around the house, to all of our rooms, ate biscuit and when it was time, napped.

I loved him more when he seemed to like my sinigang na baboy!!! He ate and ate and ate until I was afraid he might be too full! Susette and Marco arrived at about 8pm with a box of doughnuts from Dunkin. I was happy that Keanu looked happy with his stay here. Migo, Nica and Noy were happy because they got $15 for babysitting. All agreed to use it as gas money :)

Drive to Virginia Beach

We got a 15-seater from Budget Car Rentals. Boy, it was BIG! Virginia is an 18-hr drive from Springfield and Migo was already geared to face the challenge of being our ONLY driver. Armed with Red Bull, Gatorade and lots of rap and soul CDs, we started out at about 9am, Wednesday (Aug 17). The trip was uneventful except when the teachers saw a "house" wrapped in plastic, being carried by a truck. Cracked me up when they said "house for delivery". Migo drove until 8pm and we spent our night at Super 8 in Owingsville, KY. The hotel smelled new and I was happy with my choice. The next morning, we woke up to get our free continental breakfast. We had a feast!! Picture below is one taken at the Super 8 Motel in KY.

We went off to an early start. West Virginia is breathtaking! The mountains and valleys, the luscious greens! I am amazed at how they carved out roads in the mountains and maximized the beauty that nature had to offer. At times I thought some parts resembled Kennon Road of Baguio; when it was still passable :(

I was happy that we got to Virginia at about 6pm without incident on the highways. But we got caught in traffic and managed to be at the Mante's house just before 8pm. Freaking hungry and tired! Fabian and Arlene (Mante), Sharon (Reuyan) and Perlita (Gallosa) graciously treated us for dinner at a chinese buffet. I felt so welcome with the warm lingering hugs and all were so ready to help our new batch of teachers. What surprised me was Fabian. This was the first time I really got to talk to him and I immediately felt his sincerity. He is the kind who will do anything without thought of repayment. And I thought his kind does not exist anymore :) !!! Below is the VBCPS family at the Mante's residence.


To reward Migo, I picked out a hotel near the beach front. I thought I got a good deal with another Super 8. Turned out a stinky, dirty hotel and I was so tired to even think of changing hotels. In the morning, we took some pictures by the beach then off we went to do a courtesy call to Bernard. Bernard is hands-down the funniest guy in the universe. He cracks me up without even trying :) Sweet too and so not hard to please.

The teachers already shooed us to get started for Springfield after lunch (Sharon cooked shrimp!!) and we willingly obliged. As we drove further and further away from Virginia, I thought, "I am leaving teachers who will be a blessing to their students and who will make good their promise to make us proud." Corazon Delima and Flor Apape. I never got close to teachers as well as I did with them. They had me as their "caretaker" for 2 weeks! I will miss sweet and lovable Colin. Kung lahat ng apo kagaya niya, penge na ng isa (hehehehe JOKE! as in capital J) And oh, I will also miss getting a kick out of calling Blas, "Mr. Pogi" and seeing that embarassed but knowing smile :)

The trip back was tricky because Migo had been driving long hours for 3 straight days now and John Legend, 50 Cent and Gin Blossoms had gone hoarse ... in my mind, that is. To keep Migo awake, I asked a lot of questions about his vacation to the Philippines. After the trip, I felt like I was vacationing with him the whole time because I got all the details!! I mean, only those which he was willing to share, of course. We spent a night at Comfort Inn in West Virginia and had a REAL good night sleep after getting him baby back ribs from Friday's.

We got back at Springfield just before 7pm and it was good to be home - as it always is. That was 4 days on the road .... STRAIGHT! I got to give it to Migo. I never heard a complaint, not a teeny tiny bit. Hey, that is my son!

Again

I get this feeling every month. Some months are better because I easily sleep it off. This month is one of the bad ones.

Thoughts running in my mind ... about Papa and Mama. Their health and how I want to help them financially. About work and finances. About my visa status. The grass in the lawn. Cleaning up the garage, my closet. My files at home. The stiffness in my fingers. Where is my passport? My children. Roly.

It is so overwhelming ... I am nauseated and want to throw up.

Migo is Home

Yipeeee!!! Migo is finally home and he got me pulvoron :) I love the goodies that Abi and Minette sent. Nang Linda is such a sweetie that I felt guilty for not sending her anything tuloy. Same with Jay. Migo talked non-stop about how he enjoyed Jay's company. He talked about how Minette would remind Jay to take care of his "panganay", Migo. About Nang Linda, being his midnight-snack-buddy. About Edmund taking him to play golf.

Migo's stories about Papa and Mama and Cyn and Ira were all depressing. I wish there is much more I can give. If only I could, I would free them from all their financial worries. I am so angry at myself for not providing enough for Ma and Pa. I hope to do more for them starting NOW. I am praying for this.

I invited some friends to a thanksgiving party. I was expecting the teachers and my officemates from the staffhouse but they were not able to come. I did not want to delve into their reasons ... but somehow, I felt offended. Was it my cooking? Well, I try!! HARD!! hehehe ... Felt good that Gin and Edmond came. Also Marta and Sherree. Marta's peach cobbler was muy delicioso!! So happy that Rina, Aldrin, Pearlie, Marco and Susette seemed to like what I served - crispy pata (sarap!), pansit bihon (napagod ako dito .. never again!) and buffalo wings (from Tyson). And I requested Gel to bring lumpiang sariwa (heaven!)

Gabby and Geri slept over while Nyke and Gel enjoyed a night together ... just the two of them :) Both were well behaved and I didn't have a problem keeping them entertained. Teka, ano kaya ang kakainin nila sa breakfast?

Mommy Thoughts

Teachers for the Virginia Beach City Public Schools are restless. They want to travel to Virginia Beach before the week ends.

My boss feels more confident for Migo to drive us. This means I will travel to VA next week with Migo and the teachers. *sigh* I just want to be home and bond with my kids!

Ms. Velasquez, the Prez of Cebu Normal U and the guest of my boss, is very charming. The picture above is one of those I took with Ms. Velasquez, EQ and the VB teachers. Taken at EQ's living room.

Nica is enjoying her CA trip. She is not going to Los Angeles anymore because Tisha will go to San Francisco instead! She is actually happy that she will get to spend more time in San Francisco :) Hmmmmm ... and a double Hmmmmmmmm???

Learned from Abi that Migo met Micah last weekend. What the!!!! Micah, the girl who cut out my face in every baby picture of Migo (so evil!!) , the girl who made us realize that Migo is not a baby anymore. At 17 years old!! Waaaaaaa!!! I will have to reserve my comments when I get to talk to Migo about this. What worries me is that when Migo told Abi that he will be spending 2 nights with his Marville friends, she suspected he might be with Micah!!

Noy is out again for their Wednesday thing. I hope this does not continue on when school starts. I just feel that some of them overextends the welcome that I give. And I have low tolerance to people who abuse my "coolness"!!!

Realization 101

Have you ever prayed so hard that you tightly close your eyes so can shut out the world and not see what will happen if your prayers are not favorably answered? I did just that as the days drew closer and closer to THE date. I never frantically sought for Divine intervention as I did for Migo to pass the embassy interview, never asked so many people to pray for him. The odds were stacking up, even if I did not want to admit it. He did not have property titles to show and the entire family is listed in the form, all in the US! And all with pending applications for immigrant visa. So bad I thought were his chances of getting the visa that I was already praying that both Migo and I will have the strength to accept a denial!

At about 8pm I received his first text: Make a guess
To which I interpreted as positive!! I sent my reply: You got your visa!!!
But just as my reply was being sent, another text message from him: Tawag kng pde
Then I thought - I might have misinterpreted his first message. No. Please God NO!
As I was shaking while looking for his Globe phone number so I can call him, his reply to my message came: Yahoo!!!

I am happy beyond words. Sooooo happy. Realization 101. Prayer IS powerful.

3 Words

3 words that sum up all that is contained in bibles and all other religious teachings. DO NO HARM.

I read this somewhere and it definitely makes a lot of sense. If we all followed this as THE basic principle in all we do, the world will be a better place.

Fatalism

I watched Must Love Dogs with Gin and Marta and we all agreed - it is a must-see movie. Only for our kind. We who enjoyed Notebook, Two Weeks Notice, Sabrina, When Harry Met Sally, Love Actually, My Best Friend's Wedding, Maid in Manhattan, Under the Tuscan Sun. Must Love Dogs deserves to be listed under the same category. Dialogues are unique. Pacing is just right. Yes, I know it is almost predictable. But who wants surprises when you have decided from the very start what you wanted?

The movie is fun because you see family dynamics at work. It is about moving on and learning to fight for the good that life throws at you. That is, if you recognize the "good". Do you believe in fatalism? I used to keep a scoreboard to tally those which I worked for and those which just landed on my lap. I do not remember the reason why I stopped counting. But I distinctly remember thinking, "No matter how much you work for it, if it is not yours, it never will happen". Thinking that makes life easier ... Does it?

Felicity and My Quiet Sunday

Nica and Noy went to the 6 Flags at St. Louis with friends. I was awake at 6am, saw them rush out and thought this is a good Felicity time. I started watching Season 4, their final season. Where Felicity will finally pick the man she will spend the rest of her life with! Consistent with my mababaw nonintellectual self, I so looooove this series. Never mind if most sequences are prolonged close-up shots of facial reactions. Felicity Porter is the most lovable imperfect character that television ever created. Ben is adorable ... his pained looks, shy smiles and awesome physique will make any girl say yes. Even if he has yet to ask a question!

I felt guilty watching episode after episode on my bed thinking about my need to hear mass. Should I? Or should I not? ARGGH! This should not even be a question! I finally got up and called Marta. I thought it has been a long while since I experienced their church's music ministry. Then Marta treated me with a home-cooked lunch! Her adobo was heavenly. I enjoyed our lunch, main course was her updates on her lovelife, dessert was discussion of "talented" characters. LOL!

I came home, continued watching Felicity and dozed off.

A friend called. I was so happy I made time to see her. As she poured out her grief, frustration and anger, I looked at her and thought, I would have never thought it would come to this. That is what life does. It tests you. Sometimes, it gets you to wonder ... If all were created equal, why are some tests more difficult than the others? My quiet Sunday became even quieter.

Excessive Heat Warning

We went to Walmart yesterday and for the little time that we were out in the sun ... OMG the heat was so overwhelming! They said the heat index came up to 105 F. Today, it will climb up to 109 F. And the warning issued is good till Sunday. Wow! Like I have never experienced heat like this in the Philippines. That was like me complaining to a blind woman that I need reading glasses! But really, maybe it is about time that the world powers provide more research money on global warming. That just got out right off the bat ... I really do not know what I am talking about. Must be the heat. Duh!! Bottomline is ... mainit talaga ang init dito sa America!!!!

Chick Lit

From Wikepedia - "Chick lit" is a slightly uncomplimentary term used to denote popular fiction written for and marketed to young women ... the implication that the reader is likely to be the sort of clichéd and nonintellectual female who chews gum and avoids "serious literature".

I am currently reading a chick lit. Title is Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin. I just wanted to see if I will enjoy reading the book and conclude I am one of the nonintellectual females. (shhhh .. this may come as a surprise to those who already think I AM!)

The storyline is already heavy with cliché. An unattached 30 year old lady lawyer living and working in Manhattan ending up in bed with her best friend's fiance on the night of her 30th birthday. In her attempt to convince herself that it was just a one-night fling, she begins eye-opening realizations of what have been right in front of her for a long time. Lame. Lame. Lame! But I am getting to the middle of the book and I am enjoying it! Does this prove I am nonintellectual?? If enjoying a relaxing feel-good read makes me one, then count me in. I am buying more chick lit. Did you know that the male counterpart is called "dick lit"? THAT is something else =) and I am not buying!

Just Because

Susan invited us to a karaoke party at their house. Just because!

Food was gloriousssss! Marta's dinuguan was my favorite. I almost ripped my sides laughing when I teased Marta on how Don also loved the dinuguan that she cooked. Marta rode the joke and said - had she known this she could have cooked dinuguan for Don everyday. Cracked me up to see Don's reaction to that!

I enjoyed the night dancing away as the children sang song after song. Songs like Yeah, Breathless, Numb and Pamela 1, Otso-Otso and such others. I so wanted Noy to sing his signature song, Mr. Suave =( He can really sing it better than the original. REALLY!!! Hearing him sing it tickles me to no end! Complete with the pauses, and the "emotion" - maiiyak ka! Sa tuwa! =) Nica reminded me na "binata na si Noy". ** sigh ** I hope my children do not think that getting older means they stop laughing at themselves.

It was such a fun night that we agreed on doing this regularly. Holding the parties at different houses. This gives me reason to clean up ... hahaha!

GOD's Favorite

This morning, while I was sipping coffee, Nica remarked with certainty that she is "one of God's favorites". When I asked her why she thought that, she shrugged and said she just feels it.

As her mother, I cannot even begin to describe how I felt hearing her say that. I want to be smug, give myself a pat on the back and say "Wow! I REALLY DID GOOD!"

Life's Best Adventures

Isn't it amazing that when we look back, the very best adventures are those which we feared had chances of NOT happening at all? What was it that made us go out of our comfort zones and take such risks? It is the other thought ... THAT IT COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN!

My best adventures so far:

1. getting my first job - NEDA with TRAPOLI
2. approval of my Japan scholarship
3. getting my US visa stamped on my passport
4. landing my first job in the US with GE Capital
5. getting my first teacher placements in Chooshgai, NM and driving almost 1000 miles to meet the teachers
6. sucessfully getting the nod of NYCPS
7. getting my first visa approval for my placement in Australia

This list will not stop here. I will continue to stop and look at fear in the face, take more risks, and get MUCH more out of life!

A Keeper

This image is a creation by Jean. Such a precious gift from a dear dear friend. Our friendship dates far back. Back when all we worried about were if we will be assigned to travel to Iloilo, Leyte, Cebu, Davao, or Zamboanga. Back when the mere mention of "Japan" lighted up our faces. Back when GOOD food meant anything cooked by Madir. Back when I got a kick teasing Ray with Beng and Ed with her. Back when NEDA stood as the only "building" at Amber Avenue. Back when we were lean, tight and young-er ...

I shared silent confidences with Jean. I see her, and her sunny smile, and I understand. No words need to be said. Her eyes tell it all. I just know.

Now, when we travel by land and drive through Oklahoma, I think "Jean is here!" Several times I seriously thought of just dropping by her house and surprising her. I miss the girl! She is definitely a keeper too. Looking at our picture here, I must say we rocked!!!

War of the Worlds ... ho hummm

I am not a movie critic nor am I trying to be one. But I am sooooo disappointed at the movie, I just have to write about it. All the media attention, the worldwide premier nights, images of the smooching TomKat on the red carpet. All THAT cannot compensate for the minutes I lost watching the movie. It was a major let down. There may have been a story but it was poorly told. Even the special effects were ho-hum.

Or maybe I am just tired of Tom's goo - goo eyes while waiting for a tear to fall? Or his smile that seems to be plastered on his face permanently.

Give me back my $8!!!!

EWF and Chicago

Earth, Wind and Fire and Chicago. In ONE concert. How great is that!!! I was lucky that there was no one else available to use the concert ticket. Thanks to Don. I went with him, Sherree and Bea. The concert was held in Maryland Heights (a few miles from St. Louis) - a full 3.5 hours drive - last night. It promptly started at 7:30pm and ended shortly before 11pm. I got home at around 2:30am but the trip was sooo worth it!

First there was Earth, Wind and Fire. Chicago followed. Then BOTH bands performed together!

I had a reminiscing party. EWF and Chicago had many songs that triggered "feel good" memories. EWF sang Shining Star, Reasons, After the Love has Gone, Sing a Song, Boogie Wonderland, September among others. They still have it. The falsetto voice... Ohhh wind instruments, guitar and percussions that so characterized their songs. Everytime they started a song with a familiar introduction - be it vocals, drums, trumpets, or piano, people jumped up, sang along with them, danced and cheered!

Chicago sang Colour My World, If You Leave Me Now, You're the Inspiration, Hard Habit to Break, Only You. We swooned ... and WOW! To have all those songs sung in one venue!!! If given the chance to watch them again, I would. Oh yes, the audience was mostly in their 40s and 50s. But who cares ??? =)

Bakasyonista

Just posting some of the pictures of Migo in the Philippines.

At a beach in Quezon with his Marville barkada. It's a bird ... Its a plane .... Its ...

Another one at the beach.

With Oying.

Cousins reunite. They rented a room at a residential condominium in Pasig. They danced, sang, reminisced.

A night out with lovely favorite cousins, Abi and Minette.

With another beautiful cousin Lee

Sunset

Whoever makes time to look at the magnificence of the sunset anymore? I look at the sunset and I feel the gleeful anticipation of a color show. You get lost in the serenity of the image as the sun sets on the horizon. Nothing can stop it. No matter what goes on in the world. Darkness begins to creep in. A visual reminder that everything has an end. Then I remember a quote that said, "Light shines its brighest in the dark".

Migo the Grandson

It was difficult for me to start blogging again after Sonny died. It just felt wrong to delve on trivial things when something THAT major happens. But just as we allow ourselves to grieve, we must also celebrate life.

Migo went home to the Philippines to be the major "gift" that we will give to my parents on their 50th wedding anniversary. Migo, their first grandchild and need I say, their all time favorite?? My parents only knew that my gift is an overnight stay at a hotel. Little did they know that shortly after they got to the hotel, Migo will come a-knocking on their door! Everything went as planned. Ira opened the door and for a few seconds, Papa and Mama had to dig into their memory bank to see why the man at the door looked familiar.


Papa and Mama with favorite apo 

I was not there but I know how they felt. I called when excitement leveled off and all we got to say was "I love you". Can you imagine saying that and feeling the exhiliration of knowing that they HEAR it and FEEL it? Made me want to shout - GOD is so good!!

Here are some of the pictures. But I know they do not do justice to the exquisite happiness that flowed in that hotel room that day.

Looking at them, my first thoughts were - My! It has been a long time! Si Cynthia ba yun? Laki na ni Lara! I miss Ma and Pa! Uy, suot na nila ang mga padala namin!

At the restaurant for dinner. 


At the hotel room  

Ira, Lara and Papa

Life is Touch and Go

Sonny, 20 minutes before take off.

Today is a very sad day for us. We woke up to the news that Sonny died in a plane crash. Not even 30, father of 3 girls, husband of our dear Abi. Abi, who wrote in her email ... "Sonny and I will pick him up." Husband and wife will pick up Migo at the airport. That was the plan.

We went about our morning rush with tears flowing. "How can this happen to someone so good?", whispered Nica. Sonny was honest, sweet, thoughtful, so full of love for Abi. He bought Abi an ID bracelet with "Abiko" engraved on it. They call each other Sonnyko and Abiko from then on. He was based in Baguio but he always surprised Abi with his presence at her dance performances, family gatherings, birthdays. The perfect gentleman, he always gives in to Abi's wishes.


Abi with Roby 4, Lexy 3, Ella 2

May you rest in peace, Sonny. You will be missed. We will help take care of your Abiko and your 3 angels. Your passing away reminded us once again that we should celebrate life EVERY DAY because TODAY is the only certainty we can ever have. Paalam, Sonny! At kahit mahirap sabihin ng nakangiti ... maraming salamat at harinawa'y masaya ka sa iyong kinaroroonan.

Why Do I Blog?

A friend recently discovered I have a blog and she asked me that question. I was stumped. Why do I blog?

I started reading blogs when I goggled for a my niece and her husband, who I know were both working for a call center. I was doing a research on the operations of call centers in the Philippines then. I got one search result which had both their names and guess what? They were mentioned in a blog by their firend who also works for the call center! So I took note of the name of the call center and tried to find out some more about the company. But I always went back to the blog of their officemate. This girl can write and she is funny!! I put her blog site among my favorites and every once in a while, I check what is going on with her. She inspired me in a way. She writes about her family, her career, her lovelife!

So that got me started. When I was starting to write my first posting, I thought - I must think who my audience will be. Am I writing for a pre-defined audience? Who am I blogging for? I blog for me. I write my thoughts so I can read them back. It is like reading your diary and opening your photo album at the same time. And maybe someday, when I am old and grey and do not have the ability to write and use the computer anymore .....

Livid

When bad things happen to bad people, do you ever say "Good for you"? I never do. Because who am I to judge?

Today, I just learned something that someone did to someone I love. Thinking about it and hearing all the stories, I want to grab him by his neck, dig my nails in, shake him, scream all the angry cuss words I know, scratch his eyes out and hope he gets what he deserves!!!

Las Vegas with the Girls

Viva Las Vegas!

With the girls .. in Las Vegas. Need I say more? I guess so ... or else!!!

People always think that you do something crazy when in Vegas. We did not do anything crazy. Does that mean we did not experience the TRUE Vegas expereince?? Oh yeah ... we had plans. Club hopping, watch the Chippendales (what were we thinking??), milk the casinos dry. Sigh ... we must have thought we were 20 years younger!! We did not go club hopping. We went to one club and stayed there because our aching feet could not let us make one more step. Stayed there till 4AM! THAT was crazy. We did not watch the Chippendales, we did not have the energy to even ask if they were still on! Milk the casinos dry? I had a difficult time sleeping, thinking that I almost lost my $5 to the slot machines! I won $8, by the way. Cashed it right away.

Enjoyed my stay just the same. Even when I was not feeling well from day one. Kept calling the kids thinking they missed me and asking them if they have been good. All answered .. of course!! I must have been crazy to think they will play hooky when no one is looking. They are my flesh and blood! How can I not trust them? Wink ;)

One of the highlights of my Vegas trip (aside from the Celine Dion concert of course), was Baging's birthday treat. A facial massage! At the Monte Carlo Spa! How cool is that? WOW! I must have done something good in this lifetime to deserve the kind of friends I have :)

My Favorite Things

Friday nights and lazy TV dinners
Starbucks - caffe vanilla frapuccino
California roll and miso soup
Back massage
My laptop and reading emails (weird!)
Reminiscing the good old days with Roly and my children
Watching movies and looking out for places to go
Finding beautiful quotes and writing them in some paper, then rediscovering them after some time
Felicity (TV series)
Road trips
Love Actually (movie)
Stiletto heels
Dinuguan ni Gel, pansit ni Gin, chicken soup ko
The Prayer by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion
Il Divo's Mama
Smell of fresh cut grass
Sto. Nino Village, Cebu
California and its Filipino flavor
TV set in my room
Victoria's spanish sardines
Bath and Body lotions and scents
Body Shop room oils

Noy

Noy at the Fisherman's Wharf

My baby.

His Dad's Junior.

He may look like a man with an air of mystery ... but I can read him like a book.

He can easily win the genius-of-the-family award.

He masters everything he sets his mind to do and excels at them - basketball, tennis, guitar.

He loves to dissect issues - like his Dad.

He won an award in Best in Forensics in high school.

Loves crisp M & Ms.

Hates nuts.

He has a will of steel.

He does not know how attractive he is. Or so he tells us.

Comforting Cynthia

Even before I called Cyn, I already thought that I will never be able to comfort her with anything. How can you comfort a mother whose only child is taken away from her? Just imagining what I would have felt if it happened to me ... I had a hard time breathing.

I called Cynthia to discuss the celebration of Mama and Papa's 50th wedding anniversary. The conversation lasted 45 minutes. And it was mostly an outpouring of her loneliness. I felt like my heart was pierced so many times over ... just hearing how she was trying so hard to control her sobs while she was whispering her story. I pray everyday that GOD will have mercy on her and bring her peace.

I believe that what we are now is a sum of all the decisions we made in our life. I thank you GOD for guiding me to make the right decisions! I can't say I didn't make a few wrong turns. But looking back, I am glad that I did not do permanent damage to anyone. And that God did have mercy on me.

Michael

Migo with the Castle as background in Disneyland.

Michael is Migo, everybody's friend.
The son whom I loved the longest.
He feels my emotions.
THE grandson.
He laughs at my forgetfulness.
My protector.
Blushes when I make him remember Honey23.
He is the most patient and caring man you will ever meet.
He scolds me when I prejudge anyone.
He chides me when I leave a button unbuttoned.
He can eat pizza everyday. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
He loves back rubs.
He is always the first to notice that I am in a bad mood - even when I try to hide it.
He finds it amusing that I cry in sympathy while watching a movie or a television show.
He tries the hardest and I see that.
Our hobby is worrying about each other.

Monica

Monica doing a Minnie Mouse pose.

She lists everything.

She is embarrased at how tiny her hands are.

She is good with children.
She loves pulvoron.

She works hard so she can play hard.
She plays hard and feels guilty ... so she works hard to compensate.
She can spend a weekend reading a book and watching movies at home.

She is at her happiest when you scratch her back while she lays beside you.

She is prone to bumping her arms and knees and collecting bruises.

She wishes she could be taller.

She is a slow starter but finishes in a flash.

She loves to break out some sweat by working out.

She has a huge collection of books, books, books.

She is a beach person.

She is a coffee addict.

She reminds me I am not 21 anymore when I act and think like one sometimes.

I wonder where she gets the strict discipline she imposes upon herself.

She believes in saving the best for last.

Dream House

I went with Baging, Susan and Gin to see houses available for sale. As if bibili naman kami! Nakiusyoso lang! We went to several and am glad that Susan decided to make an offer to one of the houses we saw. A nice 3 bedroom corner lot house. For fun, Baging showed us houses by the Rivercut golf course. I saw my dream house!!! The first thing you will see upon entering the front door is the magnificent view of the golf course. An uninterrupted view, because the glass panel almost covers the whole wall. I am not a fan of golf but I loooove green grass. The kitchen is another story. It was sooo huge, has a fireplace, also with a very good view of the greens. Then the basement. OMG! It has a fireplace, a fantastic bar and the floor area of almost the whole house! The price? $429,000. Sigh .... I can dream can I?

Then Baging graciously hosted lunch. Barbeque and lumpiang gulay. Sarap!!

In the afternoon, Nica and I went to the Grove Spa. I had a 30 - minute massage. This is Nica's birthday gift for mwah. Isn't she sweet? Was not happy with my massage. Especially after I saw Cathy at the cashier!! I should have asked for her. Anyway ... I had 30 minutes of relaxation and I am still complaining! What's wrong with me?

This is a fun day! And it is not over yet!

A Spring Break to Remember

A pose at the Universal Studios, CA

12 days of bonding. March 23 to April 3. Weather was perfect. And weeks before we went, California experienced torrential rain and cloudy skies!! What prayers can do! We went to the Universal Studios, Disneyland and walked along Rodeo Drive hoping to see Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt =) The classy stores all lined up in neat rows ... grand entrances with heavenly rich scents invite you in. Scary for us though. Got goosebumps just looking at their show windows. The only store we went inside to was Walgreens - and only because we had to use the bathroom!! We drove up to San Jose where we saw idyllic mountain views. SOOOOO peaceful. SOOOO green. Then to San Francisco and Sacramento. On the way back to Missouri, we drove by Las Vegas and saw the awesome lights. Ohh la la! You have to be there to really appreciate it! Our family promise ..."WE SHALL RETURN!!!"

Mother Knows Best

I remember thinking in my younger days (yes, decadesssss ago!) that it is a quote popularized by a tyrannical mother who wants to control the lives of her children.

Now I am a mother. And I am tempted to say - Hey! Mothers DO know best!

I know my children the longest. I have seen them when they were at that age when they did not know how to hide their emotions yet. Now, even when they have started masking their emotions, I know that Migo is angry when he puts on a deadpan expression. I know Nica is happy when she runs her fingers down my back. Noy is not in the mood if he answers me with one-word sentences. Funny how I can say I know what will work for them ... and what will bring them disaster.

A recent experience made me really think. How I wish I could show them the "right" way when they come at a crossroads. But do Mothers really know best? We want our children to have an easier and happier life than what we had. But can we define "easy" and "happy" for them?